*I* Am Ordering Horsey Birth Control

Not for me, of course.

The vet handed me what I have been referring to as "the golden ticket" a couple weeks ago after Monkey got his Monkey weenus cleaned. This ticket is the the ticket to Alina's sanity.

 

A prescription for Regumate.

I spent a lot of time researching horse birth control (HBC). Not because I don't want her to get pregnant (well, I don't. Not yet. E would have a stroke if I told him he was to be a grandfather, and PS! The board bill went up another $500!). They make these sterile glass marbles that can be implanted into the horse's uterus-which is

 essentially a horse IUD-but this comes with some risks. And one of those "it works on 100% of mares 60% of the time. Sometimes". Its not expensive. But it might not work.

The also make a horse depo-provera shot for horses. Which needs to be administered by a vet. Monthly.
I went down the monthly road with Monkey when he was getting his joint supplement shot. It was a pain in the ass, wasn't really too sure if it worked, and it was expensive. Again, it may or may not work on Lina.
Which leaves me with 3 choices:

1. Spay her.
Laproscopic surgery to remove her ovaries. No. I want to breed her some day. That's out.

2. Do nothing.
I value my life and full use of my limbs (all of them) as well as being able to feed, clothe, and go the bathroom solo by myself. Doing nothing seems like a Very Bad Idea Indeed.

3. Regumate. Ahhh, the complete suppression of estr

us in the bitch mare. This wonderful little liquid was created for the horse breeding industry. By giving the horse the progesterone (progestin? whatever. Hormone.) it suppresses her period/heat ENTIRELY, as well as all the symptoms that go with it.

If you are a female, then you know. Cramps, fatigue, general bitchiness.

Or, if you are a slightly neurotic 9 year old Oldenburg mare, you not only get tired, sore, and bitchy but your flight response goes freaking haywire, you cannot STAND to be without your other quadriped buddys, and GOD DAMNIT! That peacock is just LURKING in the rafters waiting for an opportunity to eat you. (Or, for that matter, tarps, the farm dog, flapping plastic, farm cats, a cloud and the neighbors are also in cahoots about the best plan of attack. To eat you.)The administration of said HBC is done orally via a syringe, or on top of the grain. But not high fat grain. After chatting with the vet, we decided the best way, the absolute SURE FIRE way to get the horse to eat ALL of this $250 miracle in a bottle, is to mix the 11 mLs into a dollop of applesauce in her grain.

Because the horse likes to take a mouthful of grain and spit it everywhere.
Adding applesauce is generally a sure fire way to get the horse to consume what needs to be ingested.

(which reminds me of the days when Monkey was getting 20 SMZ antibiotic pills per day. The size of these fuckers is why the call them horse pills in the first place. I crushed the pills and mixed up a mish-mosh of applesauce, molasses, grain, hay stretcher pellets, bran and carrots. That little bastard could sniff out medication like no other)

So, I have my Golden Ticket. Now I need to mail out my prescription form to KV Vet Supply (the cheapest). I'll report back after 15 days of use. Fingers crossed!!!